Feliz Navidad!

Wow! Christmas in Mexico is quite a beautiful experience. After all the hustle and bustle in the days preceding, everyone gathered in the chapel on Christmas Eve. A quiet, candle light service was held, while boys concealed their excitement. In our humble, yet beautiful chapel in Mexico, one couldn’t help but feel like they were taken back 2,000 years to the cave, the stable, and the manger scene.

For me, this season has been quite an experience for me. It’s wonderful to see this celebration of Christ’s birth cherished by people of other countries. To hear, read, and even see pictures of it is one thing. But to experience a culture holding onto this holy celebration, is far better. As I listen to hymns that I know in English, being sung in Spanish, I could not help but smile.

Christmas morning, we woke up, and celebrated the Christmas liturgy. The boys all dressed up, were a very handsome bunch. After the morning service, we headed over to la cocina (the kitchen) for the Christmas feast! And what a feast it was! Tomales, piled high, meat, rice, and of course beans as always. It was a fantastic Mexican smorgasbord!

Following the meal, we all sat, patting our full stomachs, as Luis Sanchez (our Mexican orphanage director) handed out gifts to all the boys. Each boy had their picture taken with their respective gift. Afterwards they would go back to their seat and sit with their present on their lap. Finally, when all the boys had received their regalos (gifts), Luis counted down quickly, UNO, DOS, TRES!!!

In one unforgettable moment, I was able to witness an explosion of boys, presents, paper and excitement. Paper was literally flying around the room, as the boys masked exhilaration was let loose. A pogo stick, a Chargers jersey, night vision goggles, and game boys! The highlight for many, were the new nerf guns they boys received. Personally, I wonder why I didn’t get one. I find myself a rather vulnerable, defenseless intern who has quickly turned into a favorite target. Ah, well, I’ll have to put that on my list for next year.

In the end, many would agree that Navidad in Mexico was a wonderful experience for all involved. Thank you to everyone who has donated to Project Mexico, and especially to those who sent Christmas gifts. I can personally testify that the boys loved them, and are very grateful for your generosity!

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On a more personal note, I ended up staying at the ranch until early afternoon. However, at that time, the boys took off to play with their new toys. Suddenly with free time on my hands, I decided to go up and spend the evening with Papa, Grammy and some of my extended family in San Diego. Since I hadn’t been planning on going up, I decided to not call ahead and come as a surprise. It turned out to be just that, as everyone was very surprised when I pulled up. Looking back now, I feel very blessed. I was able to experience the full Navidad celebration in Mexico, a surprise for my grandparents in the States, Christmas in two countries on the same day, oh and I have to add… a CHARGERS WIN!

Feliz Navidad! Merry Christmas! Dios Benditio! God Bless!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Everything seems to be set, and the countdown is almost complete. Navidad is only three days away and everyone is very excited. The presents are laid underneath the tree, and tomorrow we'll be making tamales together! As I'm sure you all are experiencing at home, it is exciting as every day brings greater anticipation of the best day of the year! It's been really neat getting to see and hear people getting ready for Christmas in the community. As everyone does, you love hearing Christmas music playing on the speakers at small local store, and greeting people with a smile and "Feliz Navidad!" Ironically, the one Christmas song I know in Spanish, is “Feliz Navidad”. However, when I played it about a month ago as a joke, the boys loved the fact that I knew another song in Spanish. I've played that song many, many times since then. You would think they get tired of it, but whenever they see me with my guitar, at least one or two of the boys, will run up asking "Feliz Navidad???"

I hope you all are enjoying this time of year, and not being too stressed with the worries of season. Remember again what we're celebrating, and that presents are meaningless if they take precedence over family, friends, and above all, Christ.

learning to live in mexico

Recently, things have really improved in my "living" in mexico. I'm house sitting for a family in the church, so today, I drove over and fed dog, and did a couple other things there. Afterwards, I went down into Rosarito and got a haircut. What Joel? That's not worth mentioning, isn't that normal life? - EXACTLY! Finally, I'm starting to live just a normal life here. The Spanish is not perfect by any means, but I'm communicating. I know the area pretty well now too and don't have much of a problem navigating through Tijuana or Rosarito. It's really a blessing and an exciting step. Not huge, but I notice the difference.

You have to love Mexican weather. It's sunny, 75 and warm. Love it!

The life that could have been

Recently, I’ve been kept really busy, making donation runs and phone calls for Project Mexico. It keeps me moving, and wears me out, but I have to step back and realize that I’m doing this for the boys. With that in mind, everything’s a breeze.

Today, I had the pleasure of having one of the older boys, Ricardo, along to help me with donation runs. When you have two or more people in a car, you get pulled over less for a search at the border. Ricardo therefore came along to be that extra there is less of a chance for you to get pulled over to be searched coming into Mexico. In the three and a half months I’ve been here, I don’t think I’ve had a day more focused on Spanish. Being with Ricardo, we talked a lot in Spanish. He and I are pretty similar in how well we speak the other’s language. I would give him a slight edge. There are some words and phrases that he knows in English, which I don’t know in Spanish. We’re able to help each other out. However, I feel I am definitely getting the better end of the deal. Whatever the case spending time with him was very neat. Ricardo is my age, so getting to hear about his life offers insight into what one might expect in Mexico. At lunch we both went out to Panda Express and had lunch together. (I elaborate a little more about this below, but being able to eat lunch with someone from another country, as a friend and brother just feels right. The time spent with him, I felt it was the way the world is supposed to be, two guys from different countries working together like, they had known each other since day one.) At one point I commented to him as we were heading towards the border. I said it was interesting that we were driving from the country of my birth, my home country, and we could see ahead the country of his birth, and his home. We come from different backgrounds, different countries, but we were both in the same car doing the same thing, listening to the same Spanish song on the radio.

Every time I am in one country, looking over to the other, I am reminded how lucky I am to be an American. There are so many thing I take for granted that are not readily available in Mexico. Reading recently, I was able to have some things put in perspective for me.

My mother recently sent me an email with a link to the LA Times. The website had an interactive page focused on Mexico. A large portion of the site, is centered around Tijuana and traveling in Mexico. As many of you have heard, Tijuana has had many shootings and deaths related to gang-related activity. Something one reported said that I had felt but couldn’t say. Tijuana seems normal. When you drive in, you’re driving on paved roads and people act like normal Mexican citizens. As an American, you would think that other than some slight cultural things, everything was pretty normal. However, as you venture farther in, you begin to see the poverty, and the other face of Mexico, and Tijuana. When you search, you see under it all there’s a fear that I’ve noticed among the citizens. People act like a conquered people, from a conquered country. Now this has to do a bit with the history of Mexico. Taking a look back in history you can see that Mexico has been on the loosing side of many wars and this has subconsciously been passed on to generations. However, in Tijuana, I can sometimes see a hint of fear behind a person’s eyes due to the current reign of another power.

Sitting in the border line, I thought how my life would be different if I lived in downtown Tijuana. To be honest, a lot would be different. Most significantly, there would be a good chance, I would be involved in a gang. Through my being in a gang, my family is brought under protection from some, and fire from others. A number of people have asked if it’s scary crossing the border. For me, I really don’t have any worries because I have nothing to hide. However, a big business in border towns like Tijuana is smuggling drugs across. If I lived a different life, I could be sitting in that same line, knowing that I had something to hide. A very expensive setif I was caught a large portion of my life could be spent in a prison. If I did not take the drugs, my life as well as my family could be in imminent danger. If I were a successful smuggler, I might have a great car, but I’d live my life with a heavy conscience hanging over my head. This is the life of many young men my age. From the outside it might seem like a black and white decision. But I’m beginning to learn, here, there are a lot of times in life where one has to make a decision between the lesser of multiple evils.

Thinking about this, I cannot help but be grateful for all the blessings in my life. I also have to thank the Lord that I don’t have to make such difficult decisions. Lord have mercy, on the men in this world, unwilling caught in the web of gang society.

That said, I wanted to share what a transformation my life has become over the last three months, yes, but the last month especially. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m communicating well with the boys. The first few months I often would want to go to the States and speak English, and grab a Starbucks. Now, for the first time, I’m really appreciating my time here. Every moment spent in Mexico, meeting new people, doing new things I realize I only have this time guaranteed. I’m only guaranteed the breath I’m taking, make sure that every moment is spent well.

Traffic has been a recent trend with Christmas around the corner, both in San Diego and Tijuana. A couple times today I couldn’t take the turns I normally take in Tijuana, and I had to find my way through parts of Tijuana. For those who have read my blog from the beginning, you may recall my “terrifying” experiences driving through Tijuana on my own. Not knowing where I was going, and praying I didn’t up in the wrong hands. Now, three months later, I couldn’t feel more comfortable. Driving in Mexico is a real adventure, and now I am able to easily read signs and figure out where I’m going. Mexico is becoming my home away from home. I shared my thoughts about the hints of fear behind people’s eyes, but in almost all cases if you greet someone with a smile, one is sent back your way.

Heading back into a more disappointing topic, something that I’ve noticed recently, is the racial preferences of the culture. There is a form of racism here, now we’re not talking about Ku Klux Klan, but a different type. If you turn on Mexican television you’ll notice that almost all the people are white. Looking around at the bulletin boards in Tijuana you’ll notice the people are white, or very, very light.

This honestly strikes me as rather ridiculous. Growing up in multi-race, multi-cultural California - from day one I never gave a thought to discriminating because of race. I can say with pride that a few of my second cousins are African American. I grew up hanging with my cousin Christian, Kayla and Alexandra. They’re my cousins, but they’re my brothers and sister as well. “What do you mean their skin color is different? That doesn’t mean a thing.”

With that in mind, when I see this discrimination against people with darker skin down here, it is really disappointing for me. Honestly, I find it somewhat ironic. Only a few decades back having darker skin or a different background, unjustly, was grounds for discrimination in the states. However, now all you have to is look at a magazine to notice that having darker skin is a major plus, to the point that having white skin, is not preferred. Life as a child was often painted in a rosy image. Growing up, you realize that the world is not as perfect as it once looked. Sadly, I feel like I’m waking up to another disappointing aspect of life here, one that simply seems pretty ridiculous to me.

Thank you for your prayers! If you get the chance and are able to donate to Project Mexico, please do! We are in a real pinch financially with the economy the way it is.

Project Mexico
P.O. Box 120028
Chula Vista, CA 91912

God Bless!

Joel

All the help we can get!

Hi All,

I'm in at the office today and I'm working on making phone calls for our end of the year push. We have donors that together will match all our donations before the end of the year up to $45,000! What a blessing! But we need all the help we can get. If you think you may be able to help in any way $5, $10, $20 dollars is a great help! Yesterday, today and tomorrow,l I am going to be working on making phone calls for our iCanGive20.4.24 campaign. We're trying to find people who can donate $20 a month for 24 months. If you think you can join the campaign and help keep teenage orphan boys off the streets of Tijuana, you can go to www.projectmexico.org and sign up for the campaign. If you just want to donate once you can do that there as well. Or if it's easier, you can give the Project Mexico office a call it's 619-426-4610. God bless you all! I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas season!

Please keep the Project Mexico and St. Innocent's in your prayers,

Joel

And I thought I could handle the cold

I wrote this yesterday, when the internet was out, and before the power decided to follow in suit. Today, all I have to add is how grateful I was to have a roof over my head last night. No even a mile away there were families try to sleep in boxes, and I was complaining about the cold...

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Monday
Two Saturdays ago, I got my first test of life in Mexico with rain. Honestly, it’s quite a mess, the world of dust from the summer turns into a mess of mud. As my shoes doubled their weight as I sunk into the mud, walking around the grounds.
Yet this time I feel as if I were ready to take on a hurricane. We’ve had solid rain since the morning and it has been extremely windy. Father Michael brought me along as he drove the Nasser kids to school. When it was initially suggested that driving in the mud was very different from driving in the snow, I scoffed at the idea. However, after watching just one drive to school and back, I take that all back. Essentially, it’s like driving on constant ice, instead of little patches. In mud your car is continually slipping. When you can slow down and stop on ice, the mud instead keeps sliding with gravity. While you may be content to try to admit temporary defeat, stop, and start again, the mud vetoes that idea. Fishtailing in the ice is a breeze, when you could say that fishtailing is basically a fancy way of saying driving in the mud. Also you’ve got mud being splashed up on the windshield, making the windshield wiper fluid even more important. All this to say, I can’t wait!
The internet has been down since the morning, and the power has been recently flickering in and out. It’s neat. Feels like you’re snowed in, except maybe with out the aesthetic appeal. The boys are all hanging out in the library, school’s canceled and you could mistake it for a holiday. When I woke up this morning and went out, they were all thrilled to share that they were free of the tyranny of education, for one day at least. As I hear the torrent, pelting down as we speak, I can’t help but think that tomorrow could be a bit of déjà vu.

San Nicholas!

Tonight after Vespers, Fr. Michael spoke to the boys about St. Nicholas. Among other things, Fr. Michael focused on pointing out that St. Nicholas did good deeds while people were not looking. He encouraged the boys to remember that. While it is wonderful to do good things any time, it is particularly blessed to do so “en secreto”.
As we all exited the chapel, everyone’s shoes that had been laid outside for San Nicholas, were filled with Christmas candy. I guess St. Nicholas has not given up spreading blessings in secret. :-)

Thought I'd share...

Below, I have my application essay for Biola University. Since it touches upon my time here in Mexico and some of the reasons why I came down here in the first place - I thought I'd pass it along for anyone interested.

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ESSAY QUESTION – (working on the essay – planning on sharing how my whole college decisions over the last two-three years, has been a real test of faith but also one of spiritual growth.)At Biola University, our common foundation is our faith in Christ and becoming transformed into His likeness. In light of this fact, please describe: a) the circumstances surrounding your decision to become a follower of Jesus Christ, using various Bible passages as the framework for your salvation and eternal life in Christ, and b) using specific examples, describe your process of spiritual growth over the past three years. (Limit 5,000 words)

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In the first chapter of Philippians, the Apostle Paul and his apprentice Timothy are writing to the church in Philippi, encouraging the saints to be “confident,” reminding them that the Lord, “who began the good work within you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil 1:6). Truly, this is an assurance given to all who have been called to faith in Christ, and it has unequivocally been a guiding promise throughout my life, causing me to consistently look for God's hand constantly leading me, recognizing He is using everything He allows into my life to mold me, by His grace, truly transforming me by His grace into His likeness. Looking back, I honestly cannot remember a time when I did not consider my primary identity being a follower of Christ, challenged to look at each choice which crossed my path with the question, "Will this draw me closer to my Lord, or be a distraction from what He is doing in my life?" Indeed, from day one, I have been trained to look at everything in life considering two primary objectives – loving God and loving people. Although this may sound like hyperbole, let me share that quite literally my father began asking me at a very young age, “Joel, what is important in life?” or “Son, what does God ask of us?” or very straight-forward, “Joel, what is the greatest commandment?” Through hearing Scripture read and explained to me from infancy, I learned to answer with conviction, “To love God with all my heart, my soul and strength, and to love my neighbor as myself.” By God's grace, this has been the guiding aim of my life, and I pray by His grace, will continue to help me make wise choices as to how I serve God for the rest of my days.
To say I can not remember a time when I did not know my identity was in Christ is not an exaggeration. Seeing the Lord’s hand in my very naming, my parents taught me early on that “Joel” literally translates “Jehovah is God,” and instilled in me that my life purpose was to witness to the fact there is a God, and that Jehovah, the God of the Old Testament and New, is the one, true God, who sent His son Jesus to reconcile man back to God. Unquestionably, I am blessed to be born to parents who are themselves wholly devoted to the Lord. Although our home and family are far from perfect, I have nonetheless never questioned my parents’ commitment to serve God and strive to do their best to disciple their children towards having Christ-centered lives. Indeed, my first heroes were the forerunners of the faith – warriors like Joshua and Gideon who bravely faced giants, repentant sinners like David, faithful followers like Abraham and Moses, men who faced seemingly hopeless earthy challenges yet remained true like Joseph and Esther – these were my role models whose stories I heard repeatedly, imprinting their faith upon my heart.
Compelled to continue in their God given role as our primary discipliers, my parents made the radical decision to home school their children, recognizing it would be a major factor in our family’s life forever. While my parents did not face the obstacles the first homeschoolers did, they certainly faced opposition from both sides of the family. All of my grandparents place great significance on education, and wanted to be assured that their grandchildren were receiving the best possible instruction. Certainly, my parents also placed a tremendous importance upon a strong liberal arts education, and felt by God’s grace, they could accomplish this at home, while continuing to foster our understanding that everything in life is part of the education God has for us. Numerous times I heard the refrain, “School is life and life is school,” challenging me to seek the lesson God had for me in every aspect of my life.
C.S. Lewis noted, “Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.” Purposefully, my parents steeped our broad education with a wide-variety of activities, intended to deepen our understanding and experience of the world, always tying everything back our Creator. Whether up-to-my- knees studying echinoderms in tide pools, or panning for gold while experiencing life first-hand as a miner when retracing California history, my parents encouraged us to embrace education, truly birthing a life-long love of learning within me. Choosing from the plethora of activities available to us, my parents carefully sought the right way to spend our time, allowing us the opportunity to learn from others.
Being exposed to music early in my life was a gift from God. Although watching my father play the guitar and my parents sing while leading worship is definitely one of my earliest memories, it is the music within our home I remember most. Whether marching through our house as a little boy, praising God with all my heart singing, “Hail Jesus, You’re My King!” or on my dad’s shoulder marching up State Street in Santa Barbara during the “March for Jesus,” worshipping God together through music, has always been part of my life. Beginning music training outside of home at an early age, I first learned to sing in a choir and play the recorder, and eventually included piano and guitar. Also being exposed to classical music, in concert as well as at home, certainly had a significant effect on my musical training and development. Seeing the fruit of all of this in my life now, whether leading campfire songs at summer camp, singing in a choir or spending time alone with God with my guitar or at the piano, I am so grateful to my parents for bringing God’s gift of music into my life.
Ultimately, I know God has used every element of my education to mold me into the man He intended me to be. Participating in Biola’s Torrey Academy through online classes in the eleventh and twelfth grade definitely helped me hone my critical thinking skills, as well as improve my writing ability. (In fact, I would have been enrolled in all three years, as my younger sister was fortunate to experience; however, we did not have consistent high-speed internet access necessary for the online classes, so I had to wait until the eleventh grade.) Studying Lewis, Tolkien, Chesterton, Sayers and others in Inklings was inspiring, as they put into words so much of what my education up until that point had been guiding me. Later, wrestling with philosophers like Locke and Hobbes in Foundations of American Thought was unquestionably stretching, nevertheless provided tremendous insight into understanding our country’s Founding Fathers and from whence their convictions came.
Observing history as a well-woven tale, I have always been encouraged to see God’s masterful hand guiding the warp and weave through time. Creating a National History Day (NHD) project in 2004 and again in 2008 certainly deepened my love of history. Working first-hand with primary source material, researching and writing a NHD dramatic performance, offered me the opportunity to get to know intimately some amazing men from our country’s history. In 2004, my sister and I developed a dramatic performance based upon the Lewis and Clark Expedition, where she portrayed Sacagawea and I played Captain William Clark. Learning from both Captains’ journals, I grew to admire Capt. Clark as a man of faith, who clearly understood the hand of Providence leading them. Incredibly, even though we were novices at NHD, we won 1st for the State of Idaho and went on to represent Idaho at the National competition, where we made it to finals in Washington, D.C., a better outcome than we could have dreamed of experiencing! In 2008, my sister and I teamed up with our younger brother and presented a dramatic performance on John Adams and his defense of the British soldiers who fired upon Colonials in the Boston Massacre. This project really challenged me to not allow my prejudices to sway my conclusion. Although I entered our research believing one way (that the British soldiers had been unjustified), I came out on the other side changed. Again, encountering men of principle like Adams, by pouring over his own words in-depth, encouraged me in my relationship with God. Adams, like Capt. Clark, was unequivocally a man of faith, who stood firmly for the inalienable rights of man because they were endowed by their Creator. Awarded once again for our diligence, we won first in the state, and received a special Governor’s Award for the best project overall, then made it to finals again at Nationals, and placed within the top seven in the nation.
All my life I have heard the story of when my parents brought me home from the hospital, my little crib was waiting filled with every type of “ball” or sports equipment you can imagine – football, basketball, baseball and bat, etc. all furnished by my grandfather, after whom I am named. From the beginning, athletics have played an important role in my life, and the Lord has used both team and individual sports to teach me countless lessons over the years, including teamwork, patience, the importance of practice, how to win with grace and likewise how to lose with peace, and most of all, to never, ever give up. As an athlete, it always excites me when reading scripture I come upon the sporting analogies used by St. Paul. In one of my favorites, St. Paul compares our spiritual life to a race, “Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” (Heb 12:1). Consistently, this verse comes back to me, when I am facing something requiring physical endurance especially, but also in other areas of my life in general. Just like a runner can not give up on a race, no matter how grave the obstacles or how rough the terrain, neither can we stop striving for the goal in our journey towards Christ.
In addition, through dealing with the highs and lows of competitive sports, I have learned the hard lesson of thanking God for both the wins as well as the losses, both real and metaphorical, cementing in the scripture upon my heart, “For we know that God works ALL things together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (Rom 8:28, emphasis mine). Although I experienced plenty of real losses in soccer, basketball and baseball, this lesson vividly hit home my first year playing soccer in high school. Trying out for soccer my freshman year was challenging, not because I couldn't hold my own on the soccer field, but because I was totally unknown. Enrolled in a charter academy (through which I was homeschooled), I was allowed to tryout at my school of residence, which was great as it was the best high school soccer team in North Idaho. However, since my family couldn't afford club soccer and I wasn't enrolled at the high school, I was just this tall guy out on the field whom no one knew. It was tough. Predictably, the trials did not end once I made the team. I do not want to exaggerate the circumstances, but ... suffice it to say everyone took it upon themselves to try and "school" the "innocent homeschool boy" in "the ways of the world." I almost quit. I wanted to quit. However, something inside told me to hang-on. Amazingly, four years later, after playing together through our high school careers, they voted me "MVP." Hearing my name called, realizing these guys had grown to not only tolerate me, but love and respect me, definitely proved sticking with it, despite my earlier failure, was the right decision.
As the oldest of six siblings, service has naturally been part of my life. Being a “big brother” to my two younger sisters and three younger brothers has greatly influenced who I am today. Although I have not always embraced the demands of my large family, I thank God for the way it has taught me to love others. Einstein postulated, “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” In my limited experience, I have realized this maxim is true. Thankfully, my parents instilled a love of service in my heart from an early age, not just by giving me a baby sister when I was only fourteen months old and four others who followed later, but by taking my siblings and me outside our home to serve. Whether bringing food to a family in need, providing blankets to the homeless, or serving Thanksgiving dinner to the lonely, my parents continuously challenged us to think beyond ourselves. One distinct memory is my parents helping us cull our vast toy collection, slimming it way down, and taking our toys down into Mexico where we found children outside of Tijuana who happily embraced our gifts. Surely this birthed a desire in me to not be content with a life that revolved around me. I have found some of my greatest experiences occur when I step outside myself and have the opportunity to serve others. One of the best things about becoming an older teen and young adult is the numerous opportunities this has afforded me to serve in ways I could not when younger – as a coach for Special Olympics, a camp counselor for the last five years, sports coach to younger kids, etc. Assuredly this focus on service has had a considerable impact upon my decision on what profession or occupation to pursue, allowing the Lord the opportunity to illumine new paths for life-long service.
Developing leadership skills has been another benefit of being the eldest in a large family. I am grateful for the opportunity to cultivate leadership ability outside my home too, through the various activities in which I have been involved. Enrolling me in 4-H when I was younger, my parents hoped to expose me to a variety of topics, which certainly was fulfilled in the over twenty projects in which I participated in from age nine to eighteen. Nonetheless, I would say one of the greatest gifts 4-H gave me was the opportunity to run for and hold leadership positions, and receive training as an officer. Learning Robert’s Rules of Order is not incredibly entertaining, yet has enabled me to lead with aptitude in a variety of environments since then. Once again, God has used the lessons from one area of my life to grow me up to serve in another venue where He plans to send me.
Chosen as a Delegate to Boys State in 2007 was a huge honor, especially as a homeschooler. At the time, I was considering the possibility of serving the Lord in politics. Spending a week down at the state capital, campaigning for office, then holding elected position, and trying to “work” and get something actually accomplished within the “system,” taught me more than textbooks ever could. Indeed, I think my “leadership style” kind of threw my fellow delegates off at first, as Boys States is almost as cut-throat as the U.S. Congress in many ways. Having learned by Jesus’ example, that to be the “greatest” one has to “be a servant of all” (Matt 23:11), my approach was a bit different. Thankfully, I believe I did have an influence, but in the end, decided this was not the way God intended me to use my leadership ability.
Another activity in which the Lord has utilized to draw me closer to him is my involvement in speech. From the beginning, my mom jumped at every opportunity for me to get public speaking experience, often arranging trips to rest homes where I read poetry aloud to a willing audience. After years of practice in 4-H, I began competing in oratorical contests. In 2007, I wrote a speech on church unity, focused on St. Paul’s words in Ephesians about the Body of Christ, which I presented locally and then regionally, doing well. Thankfully, I ended up winning a competition in California for the Western Region and was sent to the North America competition in Montreal to represent the West. Amazingly, I had a similar experience in 2009, after graduating from high school, where I went all the way to the North America level of the competition again. The theme of the 2009 contest was “bearing good fruit” and I focused on Christ’s words in the Gospel of Luke, “Whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for My sake, and the gospel’s will save it” (Luke 9:24), connecting them to Dietrich Bonhoeffer challenge, “When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.” Obviously, this was a very convicting speech to research and write, as I came face-to-face with the Lord’s throughout scripture, pointed out by St. James: “Someone will say, ‘You have faith, and I have works. [I say] show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith BY my works’” (James 2:18, emphasis mine). I also shared from Christ’s parable on the Sheep and the Goats from Matthew 25, which really made me turn my eyes back onto myself – was I serving the Lord wherever He might be found in my life, even a whiny younger sibling? Incredibly, this last summer I actually won the competition, beating the regional winners from all over North America, which was an incredible honor. I ended my speech with St. Paul’s words, “For we are His workmanship created for good works in Christ. He calls us to offer up ourselves a living sacrifice” (Eph 2:10).” Wrestling with these convicting scriptures and, pondering God’s will for my life, I believe led to my decision to spend this year serving the “least of these,” as well as the rest of my life.
All these experiences have provided me great life lessons, but as a whole have taught me to be open to God’s will. In Mere Christianity, Lewis explains, “There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your way.’” Thankfully, my limited life experience has taught me to be open to whatever God might have planned, even if it is not the conventional route, or the road most taken. When it came time to plan for college, my parents and I decided to defer enrollment temporarily, hoping to earn some credit through examination (taking CLEP tests), as well as learn some life skills while working in the real world. This was definitely challenging, as everyone expected me to obviously be aiming for admission at prestigious colleges given my strong academic and extracurricular record. Honestly, trusting the Lord and my parents’ leadership during this period was challenging. Mother Teresa shared, “God will never, never, never let us down if we have faith ... He will always look after us. So we must cleave to Jesus. Our whole life must simply be woven into Jesus.” Indeed, I could not have imagined the education the Lord had waiting for me around the corner, woven into the Lord’s plan for me and causing me to cling tighter to Him.
A famous salesman once claimed, “The essence of intelligence is skill in extracting meaning from everyday experience;” this certainly was true in my experiences from the last couple years. While earning about two semesters worth of credit via CLEP exams in Fall, 2008 until Summer, 2009, I worked three different jobs to save money for college. Selling Cutco knives certainly stretched my comfort zone, but utilizing my public speaking ability, plus organizational skill, in many ways this sales job encouraged me in my strengths. However, with the down-turn in the economy, people did not have money to spend on fancy knives (no matter how useful I convinced them they were). I decided to give working along side real men a try, utilizing my “brawn” rather than my brain, and got a job working graveyard loading trucks at UPS. This was definitely tough work, in many respects, but taught me that everyone values a hard worker. Probably the most challenging position I held this last year was working on the line at a silver minting company. At Sunshine Minting, I was also working graveyard, alongside a pretty rough crowd, who took great pains to tarnish my “innocent” ears. Nonetheless, I saw God working, despite my dislike of the atmosphere. Continuing to respond to the men around me with love caused them to look closer at me. Some ended up confessing heart aches to me, or sharing that they “should probably be going back to church.” It was definitely an eye-opening experience, though. I can not imagine facing decades of working that type of job. It certainly made me more grateful for the opportunity to seek further education.
During this period, I planned on entering college in Fall, 2009. I applied to a couple schools, planning to get an undergraduate degree and then go on to seminary. Awarded a Presidential Scholarship to a prestigious liberal arts college in the Northwest, I assumed that was God’s plan for my next few years. However, once again I learned not to jump the gun. Out of nowhere, I received correspondence from a pastor who oversees an orphanage and house building ministry in Mexico. The pastor had met me at a retreat a year or so before, and had spoken to others who knew me. Suddenly I faced a new prospect. The pastor asked if I might consider deferring college another year, and come down to serve an internship under him, specifically working as a mentor to the older male orphans. I was absolutely taken by surprise – this had certainly not been on my agenda. Yet, my years of experience had proven the Lord had a good and perfect plan for my life. “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jer 29:11). Seeking counsel from my parents and pastor, plus literally falling to my knees in prayer myself, I sought direction and clear guidance. In the end, I recognized the hand of God in this as an amazing opportunity to learn and grow, which I could not pass up.
Therefore, I am writing all of this from my desk in Mexico. By God’s grace and divine providence, I am serving as an intern this year, until early June, 2010 at St. Innocent’s Orphanage in Rosarito, Mexico. In only four months, I feel like I have had a lifetime’s worth of experiences. Learning about the Mexican culture has been fascinating; getting to do new things and see exotic locations has been eye-opening after spending the last seven years in Idaho. Improving my knowledge and skill with the Spanish language has been difficult, but incredibly rewarding as well, for now I have a real purpose in tackling Spanish with vigor. Beyond a doubt, one of my favorite things down here has been getting to know the boys at the orphanage. In our world, people make so many generalizations; Mexicans are generally grouped together and stereotyped ungraciously. However, I feel blessed to be slowly be accepted into the brotherhood of amazing individuals here at the orphanage. Getting to know each boy and hear all their stories is mind-blowing. No course could ever give me the wealth of education the Lord is blessing me with through this internship. I am so grateful to God for providing me this astounding opportunity to grow and serve.
In the interim, between being accepted to college last year, and deciding to defer my college education yet a bit longer to serve at the orphanage, God has continued to surprise me. It reminds me of the old proverb, “Christ can only steer a ship that’s moving.” I guess in continuing to move forward, it allowed the Lord the opportunity to make clearer the path He had for me, even if it meant changing courses. As I shared before, I had previously hoped to get a degree in business, and then go on to seminary, believing the Lord has been leading me my whole life into full-time ministry as a pastor. However, the significant financial struggles I see all around me have caused me to seek God’s guidance better in what to receive my undergraduate degree. In addition, I have really developed a heart towards missions too, after serving internationally. (Although I’m only a little south of the U.S. border, I have nonetheless gotten an appreciation for working with those much less fortunate than their neighbors just an hour north.) Realizing I may be called to serve as a missionary pastor, either in the U.S. founding a new parish or another possible abroad, I have decided to get a more practical undergraduate degree in Nursing, hoping to serve the Lord first as a nurse, and later as both a pastor and nurse. This allows me the opportunity to support my future family, even if I am in a mission situation, either stateside or internationally. Remarkably, no one is shocked when I share my new direction. In fact, numerous people have noted the similarities in nursing and pastoring, commenting on how my particular skills are well suited for both. Obviously, this has been exceedingly encouraging and affirms the direction I believe the Lord is leading me. Significantly, they are both servant roles, which definitely is where I want to be focused, back to the primary life objectives my parents instilled and the Lord clearly taught – loving God and loving people. Mother Teresa once shared these wise words, which epitomize my goal: “I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.”
Seeking God daily is an adventure. In the twenty short years I have been given so far, my Lord has taken me on a fantastic ride, stretching me sometimes beyond my comfort zone, but always leading me down paths which have caused me to grow. In the process, God has been transforming me by His grace. I could never have imagined I would be where I am today just a few years back. However, by trusting God with the turns of my life, I have actually only just begun my life journey, which I pray will lead me always towards Him. “To trust Him means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice. Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way” (C. S. Lewis, Into the Wardrobe). Numerous details have come together to lead me to Biola, which is at the top of my list of colleges. I am praying the Lord will not only open a door for admission to this excellent university, but also provide the funding through scholarships to enable me to study Nursing at Biola. Lord willing, I would be privileged to have the opportunity to graduate from Biola with a bachelor’s of science degree in Nursing, knowing this will equip me will for the challenges ahead as I continue on my adventure trusting and seeking the Lord.